A brief look at the experience of loneliness as a young person
Loneliness has recently been declared by the US Surgeon General as a new public health epidemic. What’s more, research in Europe has shown 35% of the population report feeling lonely on a regular basis, while 13% feel lonely most or all the time. Unfortunately, this research also revealed Ireland has the highest rates of loneliness in the EU, with 20% of people reporting that they are lonely most of the time[1].
What is loneliness?
Loneliness is experienced as a feeling of disconnection from others, often resulting from fewer desirable relationships or social interactions. It is a subjective unpleasant feeling and complex emotional state of mind. As a young person, I believe that loneliness is a universal feeling. In my opinion, loneliness isn’t limited to older adults; it can affect individuals of all ages, including the younger generation. When I first moved away from home to study, I noticed more frequent feelings of loneliness being away from home and missing family and friends. This experience is not unique to me, as attested to in a recent exploratory study with a sample of 6,708 participants whereby 71% reported they had experienced loneliness at some previous stage in their life, with 39% as a young adult (16–24 years)[2].
Does loneliness affect young people?
I’ve realised that despite popular opinion, loneliness is not always associated with being alone. It is possible to feel lonely even while surrounded by others and it is also possible to spend a lot of time alone without experiencing a sense of loneliness. It’s ironic that loneliness is affecting my generation, considering developments in technology and digital communication. Yet, with our heavy reliance on screens, coupled with various life transitions and the pressure to perform and fit in, it’s clear that feelings of loneliness can easily emerge.
As young people, we experience a significant amount of life changes and transitions. Events such as leaving home and moving away from family, old friends and support systems, beginning a new job, or attending a third-level college, can all result in us feeling lonely. It is an important developmental stage where we are gradually becoming more independent from our parents and striving to build strong relationships with our peers, all the while developing important emotional and social skills. The numerous demands and expectations that are placed on us such as academic stress, societal pressures and financial and employment concerns all intensify feelings of loneliness.
It comes as no surprise that in the BBC Loneliness experiment which involved 55,000 participants, levels of loneliness were highest in younger respondents with 40% feeling lonely[3]. As young people, we can often feel lonely and disengaged in a society that promotes an unachievable ideal and prioritises achievement and productivity.
There is really interesting research currently underway, which is being conducted by Prof Jennifer Lau in of Queen Mary University London, in collaboration with other researchers. The goal of this project is to develop a new loneliness assessment questionnaire that is specially designed for use by young people – the Youth Loneliness Scale (YLS)[4]. Initial findings from workshops and focus groups provide insights into what loneliness means to young people and adolescents. Common descriptors of loneliness included feelings of isolation and being unsupported by others, resulting in negative emotions like anger, boredom and dejection. Young people in this project have spoken about the importance of feeling respected, included, and understood by friends and that feeling excluded or uninvolved in conversations or plans resulted in loneliness. Moreover, they explained how they associated loneliness with feelings of self-consciousness, negative and anxious thinking patterns, and expressed that they feared others perceiving them as being lonely.
There is a stigma encircling loneliness for my generation, we don’t want to acknowledge or speak about the feeling of being lonely because that could translate to us being seen as weak or vulnerable. There is a crucial need for this stigma to be broken down through encouraging open communication.
What is affecting loneliness among young people?
The COVID-19 pandemic had a huge impact on young people in terms of limiting and reducing our social interactions in an effort to control and regulate the spread of the virus. While it needs to be acknowledged that the distancing measures put in place were necessary for public health and individuals’ safety, they resulted in an increased level of loneliness.
Statistics from the Central Statistics Office (CSO) show that loneliness levels have nearly doubled in less than a year increasing from 6.8% in April 2020 to 13.1% in February 2021. Moreover, a British study about COVID-19 and loneliness revealed 16 to 24 year olds were more likely to have experienced lockdown loneliness (50.8%), compared to those aged 55 to 69 years who were less likely to (24.1%)[5].
Personally, I believe that the lockdowns restricted our efforts to grow, develop, and transition from adolescents to adulthood. Forging new friendships and strengthening and maintaining existing relationships became exceedingly difficult to achieve under such circumstances resulting in pronounced feelings of loneliness.
Without doubt, I believe that social media use is inextricably linked with loneliness, and it cannot go unspoken when discussing this topic. In recent years, the way in which we connect and communicate with one another has completely transformed by modern technology and social media. Irrespective of our location, staying in touch with family and friends has never been easier and can be done in a matter of seconds. There are a multitude of communication options available to us such as Snapchat, WhatsApp, Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, Skype and Facetime, to name but a few. It is evident that we are availing of these services, as the My World Survey 2 (MWS-2)[6] reports that 96% of adolescents have a social media profile.
But despite all this connectivity, levels of loneliness are rising. While as young people we may feel more comfortable expressing ourselves through screens, online relationships are simply less fulfilling than in person interactions. The intimacy and depth of face-to-face connections can never be replaced by the superficial nature of online exchanges. I feel like there’s no replacement for face-to-face communication. Its associated attributes such as body language and tonality, allows for a much higher level of human contact and connectiveness. I also think that social media lends itself to social comparison. Its curative nature can lead to feelings of inadequacy whereby we begin comparing ourselves to the false images that are presented online, intensifying feelings of loneliness. A reported 34% of young people spend more than three hours online per day and 29% spend 2-3 hours online a day according to the MWS-2. This high dependence on technology may be contributing to our loneliness as technology alone does not replace the value of interpersonal communication and human engagement.
Prolonged experiences of loneliness has an extremely harmful and damaging effect on us as young people in terms of our overall mental health and wellbeing. One study carried out in 2021 by Hemberg and colleagues linked loneliness with negative attributes such as fear, anxiety and emptiness among young people[7] while other studies, such as one carried out by Zysberg in 2012, highlighted its associated adverse psychological conditions, namely, depression, social deviance, lower social skills and substance abuse[8].
When discussing loneliness, I think it is important to note the key role of the Loneliness Taskforce (LT), a coalition of organisations and individuals working to address loneliness. The goal of the LT is to raise awareness of loneliness and campaign for more action to address this issue. To help tackle loneliness, the LT have made various recommendations and one that I think is really beneficial is to become more involved in our local communities. They suggest volunteering to increase both our interpersonal skills and self-confidence and also recommend we get involved in local initiatives such as Foróige, Tidy Towns and the GAA.
Seeking help from others and having open and honest discussions and conversations also can help in reducing the stigma that is surrounding loneliness. Furthermore, we can engage in activities such as practising self-care and connecting in person with friends and family.
Given loneliness is such a prevalent issue, I think mental health studies should include more findings and up to date statistics in relation to loneliness as a means of raising awareness. These actions can help we as young people to feel valued while also promoting a sense of openness and interconnection within society.